Reflection exercises : Understanding my mental illness or that of my partner

It can be difficult to make sense of your life and your experience with mental illness. Most people develop a better understanding of their mental illness and its causes over time. The purpose of this exercise is to provide you with some ideas that may help you better understand your mental illness or that of your partner [1].

 

Being informed is important!

Learning more about your mental illness and effective treatments is a good way to gain insight.

There are many ways to get information! Several interesting books, articles or websites have been published on the subject. Here are some links that may help you :

• Government of Quebec : https://www.quebec.ca/en/health/advice-and-prevention/mental-health
• Douglas Mental Health University Institute : www.douglas.qc.ca/?locale=en
• Association des médecins psychiatres du Québec [French only] : www.ampq.org/

For more resources, visit this page.

 

Talking helps!

“Talking about it helped me understand myself and recognize the impacts my illness was having on my family without me even realizing it. Unfortunately, when you have a mental illness, you tend to withdraw and think that you are the only one suffering. Talking about it helps us to understand, but it also gives everyone the space to express what they are experiencing. Although many fear being judged, talking about it has had the opposite effect and has brought everyone in my family closer together.” -Adela

Talking about your mental illness or that of your partner can be very difficult. Nevertheless, this strategy is very beneficial in helping you to better understand the mental illness and its impacts, as well as make sense of your experience.

It can be helpful to talk to your partner or close family and friends to get their perspective : What have they noticed about you or your partner? How do they perceive the symptoms? How do they feel about the situation?

It can also be helpful to discuss your experiences with the mental illness with your family in a safe space. This time will help you better understand how everyone is experiencing the situation and together identify possible solutions to the problems you are facing. A family meeting, where each person shares their point of view and tries to understand one another, can foster positive family relationships and help make sense of the changes observed. Many families have found this process to be beneficial to all family members.

Mental health professionals and advocates are people you can contact to learn more about your mental illness. They have been trained to help people with their difficulties.

 

 

You can also participate in self-help and support groups to talk with others who are going through the same situation as you. Many parents with a mental illness or who have a partner with a mental illness have found it very helpful to discuss their experiences with others who are or have been in similar situations. It can also help you feel less alone. You may be in contact with people who are living with a mental illness or who have a partner with a mental illness and with whom you would feel comfortable and confident talking. You can also use phone or online services or chat rooms to talk with others if you feel the need.

 

 

My symptoms

To better understand your mental illness or that of your partner, it can be helpful to think about the symptoms of the illness and how they manifest in your daily life. We invite you to reflect on the symptoms, emotions, thoughts and behaviours related to the mental illness. You can check off the main symptoms and behaviours you experience from the list below. [2]

• Difficulty concentrating
• Significant fatigue or loss of energy
• Insomnia or hypersomnia (sleeping too much or too little)
• Alcohol or drug use
• Anxious ruminations
• Angry outbursts
• Low motivation
• Increased sensitivity
• Suspicious thoughts
• Physical slowness (e.g., slow speech or movement)
• Self-destructive behaviours
• Strange thoughts and speech
• Sadness
• Increased worrying
• Irritability
• Feelings of numbness
• Suicidal thoughts
• Hearing or seeing things
• Feelings of intense fear
• Shyness (e.g., avoidance of social situations)
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate shame
• Feelings of powerlessness
• Loss or increase of appetite
• Flashbacks
• Nightmares
• Physical agitation (e.g., difficulty sitting still)

Do you have any other symptoms?

 

My thoughts on the mental illness

Some questions to reflect on regarding your mental illness or that your partner.

• How long have you (or your partner) had a mental illness?
• How has the mental illness affected your personal, family and romantic life?
• How has your family coped with and responded to the situation?
• What strengths and strategies do you, your family and your partner have for coping with the mental illness and its challenges?
• What kind of support is needed to help your partner, your family or yourself cope with challenges you face or lead a satisfying life?
• Is there any information you would like to know about your mental illness or that of your partner? Where might you find this information?

You can write your thoughts below :

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

My risk and protective factors

You can also take a few minutes to think about the risk and protective factors that apply to you. You can check off ones that best apply to you on the list below.

Some risk and protective factors cannot be changed (e.g., family history of depression, trauma, etc.), but others can (e.g., social support, maladaptive thoughts, etc.) by seeking help or support. It may be helpful to take some time to think about which factors you can change on your own or with the help and support of someone else (e.g., a partner, friend, extended family member or professional). This will allow you to note the factors you can change and how you want to go about changing them.

Examples of risk and protective factors

Risk factors

„Individual characteristics

• Family history of mental illness (e.g., family history of depression), personal history of mental illness (e.g., previous depressive episode)
• Maladaptive thoughts (having an inadequate or exaggerated perception of reality)
• Physical health problems
• Stressful or traumatic life events (e.g., being sexually abused as a child)
• Other

„Family characteristics

• Major family conflicts
• Stressful family events (e.g., financial difficulties, separation or divorce, etc.)
• Other

Environmental characteristics

• Lack of social support
• Cultural representations of mental illness
• Other

Protective factors

„Individual characteristics

• Good physical health
• Ability to cope with stressful events
• Communication and problem-solving skills
• Ability to reach out for help and resources
• Involvement in one or more activities or a social or community group
• Other

„Family characteristics

• Family adaptability (a family’s ability to change or modify its behaviours)
• Good mental health of partner or other family members
• Quality family time
• Positive and accepting family relationships
• Respect for the rules and the roles and responsibilities of everyone
• Other

„Environmental characteristics

• Strong social support
• Access to leisure activities
• Other

Which factors would you like to change?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

How can you change these factors?

For example, if you want to have less family conflict, you could try a problem-solving technique that the whole family could try, or if you want to be more physically active, you could schedule time each week to exercise. Start with small changes and work your way up! Take it step by step!

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

A big thank you to Stephanie and Adela, parent members of the LaPProche advisory committee, for their collaboration and involvement in the development of this fact sheet.

This content was developed at the Université du Québec en Outaouais by the Research and action laboratory for people with mental health problems and their loved ones (LaPProche) with funding from the Fonds des services aux collectivités (FSC2018-013) of the Ministère de l’Enseignement Supérieur and in collaboration with CAP santé mentale.

The information contained in this sheet does not replace seeking professional advice. If you have any questions or concerns, please see a professional.

 

References

Piché, G., Villatte, A., & Habib, R. (2019). Programme FAMILLE+. Manuel du parent [document inédit]. Université du Québec en Outaouais : Laboratoire de recherche et d’actions pour les personnes ayant des problèmes de santé mentale et leurs proches (LaPProche).

Piché, G., Villatte, A., Habib, R., & Vetri, K. (2019). Programme FAMILLE+. Manuel de l’enfant [document inédit]. Université du Québec en Outaouais : Laboratoire de recherche et d’actions pour les personnes ayant des problèmes de santé mentale et leurs proches (LaPProche).

The Children of Parents with a Mental Illness national initiative. (2016). Understanding your mental illness. http://www.copmi.net.au/parents/parenting-with-a-mental-illness/understanding-mental-illness

The Children of Parents with a Mental Illness national initiative. (2016). Talking to primary school age children about parental mental illness. Repéré à http://www.copmi.net.au/parents/helping-mychild-and-family/talking-about-mental-illness/talking-to-primary-school-children

Villatte, A., Piché, G., & Habib, R. (2020). Quand ton parent a un trouble mental. Conseils et témoignages de jeunes. Université du Québec en Outaouais : Laboratoire de recherche et d’actions pour les personnes ayant des problèmes de santé mentale et leurs proches (LaPProche).

 

[1] Exercice adapted from « Understanding your mental illness », The Children of Parent with a Mental Illness national initiative, 2016

[2] Exercice from « Talking to primary school age children about parental mental illness », The Children of Parent with a Mental Illnes national initiative, 2016

 

To cite this document, please provide the following reference: LaPProche Laboratory. (2021). Parents living with a mental illness: Reflection exercises. Understanding my mental illness or that of my partner Université du Québec en Outaouais.
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