Challenge your views about your needs, expectations and future
As an ally, you may be faced with new responsibilities. This can be a demanding experience for you, since it’s not always easy to juggle your needs and expectations with those of others. You may also have questions about the impact this will have on your future. It’s normal to feel this way.
The goal is to try to find a balance between your priorities and external demands, and to identify what makes you happy and what causes you stress.
It can be easy to get lost in the daily challenges and neglect your own needs and aspirations. However, taking care of yourself is essential if you want to help the person you are supporting effectively and build a fulfilling future for yourself.
How do I define my needs?
Being aware of your needs is an essential first step in taking care of yourself. It can be helpful to take a moment to reflect on what’s important to you emotionally, physically, socially and professionally. Ask yourself the following questions to identify your needs regarding each along with possible solutions.
- Do I feel sufficiently informed and equipped to deal with what the person I’m supporting is going hrough, so
- that I can fulfill my role as a mental health ally?
- Do I feel that others’ expectations of my role are too demanding and that they go beyond my personal limits?
- Do I feel that my current situation could have an impact on my life choices (studies, career, etc.)?
Listen to yourself carefully and be kind to yourself. You have the right to pat attention to and value your own needs, even if this may seem difficult in times of stress. Take the time to ask yourself the following questions:
- What makes me happy? What am I passionate about? What motivates me?
- What activities bring me a sense of well-being and make me feel revitalized?
- What are my personal and professional goals, and how can I achieve them?
How can I manage my priorities, my expectations and the demands of others?
As an ally to someone living with a mental health problem, it can be easy to become overwhelmed by the expectations of others. Expectations generate emotions. When an expectation is met, we experience satisfaction and joy. When it is not met, we experience frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. Therefore, it’s essential to understand our own expectations so that we can meet them on our own.
To better manage your priorities and expectations, try the following strategies:
- Learn to identify your own expectations of yourself and others. You can learn to better manage them and the emotions they generate inside you.
- Learn to say ‘’no’’ when you feel overwhelmed and need to take some time for yourself. This will help you conserve your energy and manage your time.
Explain your situation and the challenges you face to the people around you. Their understanding and support can be invaluable.
How can I make room for myself and my future in all this?
Looking to the future doesn’t mean you’re abandoning the person you‘re supporting or being selfish. It means you value yourself and are building a fulfilling life for yourself, despite the challenges your role as an ally may present. You have the right to have your own dreams and live your own life. Remember that being an ally to someone doesn’t mean taking charge of everything. You’re not responsible for the other person’s recovery. Here are a few tips to help you make room for yourself and your future:
- Take the time to talk about this with the person concerned. Chances are, they’ll be happy for you and wouldn’t want you to forget about your dreams.
- Take the time to think about your goals and aspirations, and stay open to opportunities for your future. Listen to your heart.
- Consider seeking outside support, if you feel you need extra help managing your emotions or responsibilities, or if you’re having trouble balancing your dreams with outside expectations. Talking freely about your experiences with a qualified youth worker who will listen to you with kindness, understanding and without judgment will help you feel relieved, understood and supported.
In conclusion, taking care of yourself, defining your needs and envisioning your future are crucial to maintaining your emotional well-being and building a fulfilling life. Remember that you deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your own journey, while being a loving support person.
Don’t hesitate to seek help, share your feelings and focus on what’s important to you. Your well- being is just as important as anyone else’s.
