How do I address my concerns with my friend?

There is rarely a perfect time to talk to a loved one about something as sensitive as their mental health. Talk about yourself, what you see and especially what you feel, such as : “I can see that things are not going well and that worries me.”

By voicing your concerns about what you are observing, they will likely try to address your need for reassurance. Don’t try to argue with them.

Listen to what they have to say. Focus on their distress without judgment, accusation or blame. Encourage them to seek professional help and offer to accompany them.

If you are feeling helpless and need support, you can always call on a qualified member of the CAP santé mentale network for guidance.

How do I approach a loved one whose behaviour worries me?

Do you have a friend who has undergone behavioural changes or whose words you find disturbing?

Do you feel the need to do something because the situation has been going on for a while and you are worried that it could get worse?

Your friend may not realize that they have changed, or they may think that those around them haven’t noticed. In either case, you should try to talk to them about it honestly and without judgment.

Telling them they have a mental illness straightaway is definitely not the best approach. They are more likely to become rigid, remain silent, avoid the subject or flee altogether because they may perceive your conversation as a threat or even an attempt to control them. It can also cause them to become defensive. They might even tell you that you’re the one with the problem.

The best way to talk to them is to use “I” instead of “YOU.” Be yourself and clarify your role. You are just a concerned friend who wants to help.

If they don’t want to discuss it, what do I do?

If the situation persists, you may have to bring in professionals to protect them from themselves, especially if they are talking about suicide and refuse to get help. Tell them how worried you are and make sure they have access to support one way or another.

Taking a caring attitude toward them and discussing your need for reassurance is another approach. You don’t have to take responsibility for your friend.

Know that it’s not just your loved one who can benefit from seeking support. Explore the different services available to you and your loved one.

Author : Marc André Bédard, Director, Pont du Suroît