I love my sister very much, but I also have to think about myself. How do I do this?

It’s normal to feel that your energy is divided. Between school, your job, your friends, your sister… it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Above all, remember that focusing on your own well-being is a legitimate need. If you want to support your sister in her recovery, you have to take care of yourself too. Always keep in mind the importance of preserving your “personal bubble.” Maintain your own social network, activities, and projects. Know that you don’t have to put your life on hold. Your sister needs to have balanced loved ones to support her.

Tips :

• List the tasks you do during the week (classes, work, homework, etc.), and note the time it takes to complete them.
• Next, make a list of things you like to do for yourself and things you would like to do in the future (shopping, seeing friends, playing sports, taking a bath, etc.). Then, estimate how much time you can dedicate to yourself.
• Finally, you can talk to your sister about her needs and set aside time for her in your schedule. This may vary from week to week.

 

How can I support my sister?

Because they share the same memories and have developed shared bonds since childhood, siblings are often the first to witness the symptoms of mental illness. They may feel powerless and as if they have a secret that is too heavy to bear.

Your sister needs you, but she also needs to be supported by professionals.

• Encourage your sister to seek help (see Stephanie sheet).
• Pay attention to how you feel and take the time to learn! If your sister agrees, don’t hesitate to ask questions of the health care team to better understand the situation.
• Spend quality time together as a family, because it’s better for everyone to be together rather than apart.
• Talk openly with your sister and your parents to discuss and establish a game plan that meets the needs of the whole family.
• Be patient and accept change. The situation will evolve over time and with your experiences. Remember that your sister needs to know that you believe in her ability to recover.
• Take care of yourself!

 

How do I navigate school, work, and home life? How do I find my balance?

Living with a sister with a mental illness on a daily basis can be difficult and requires developing the ability to bounce back from stress. You may each have your own personal concepts of time and space. Sometimes you may feel like you’re doing too much. You may even feel like you can’t bother her when she’s in her room or that she doesn’t care about your space.

It’s normal to feel torn between being close to your sister and having the desire to distance yourself. It’s also common to feel that your family’s schedule revolves around your sister and that your parents are focusing all their attention and energy on her, when your life has been turned upside down too. Know that this is usually temporary and that things can change!

It’s important to talk about this with your parents and express your emotions, because they are as valid as those of any member of the family. It may be helpful to put your ideas down on paper. Remember, never hesitate to seek help. There are resources out there for you. You can meet with a qualified counsellor free of charge and speak with them in complete confidentiality.

1 855 272-7837 – capsantementale.ca

This sheet is inspired by the many works and publications of Hélène Davtian, Doctor of Psychology (France), whose clinical and research work is oriented toward supporting the family and professional entourage of people with mental illness.